The Year of Living Vulnerably

Think Shift

It's 2 a.m. as I write this on my phone, lying in bed, trusting that one of our resident wordsmiths will fix my blurry-eyed grammatical errors, typos and run-on ramblings. In the morning, we head to work for the first time in 2015, certain to scribble the date wrong for weeks to come and excited to start fresh.

It is, after all, a new year and we’re ready to reinvent, reemerge and rejuvenate ourselves as though we’re young again and it’s September. It's the first day of a new grade.

As many do in late December and early January, I struggle to set the path that will help me change for the better, goals that will be both challenging and attainable, difficult but achievable. I am aware as I make these plans that I have one distinct advantage that many may lack: I work in an environment that surrounds me with people who can hold me accountable, people who can help me reach my destination. All I have to do is make my intentions known.

Of course, this can be harder said than done. Stating my goals in front of a group of people who might actually expect me to live up to my word? What am I thinking? It isn't easy. It's why I've wasted these three paragraphs getting to my point.

This year, I intend to become better at two things: asking for help and embracing vulnerability.

"Odd," you may be thinking to yourself as you sip your beverage of choice, hovering over the back button as you debate searching for something a bit more business centric and slightly less confessional in nature. Wait! This is about culture and worthiness and willingness and co-operation, I swear and I'll get to it a bit more quickly starting… Now!

Like most people I know, I am a fan of TED talks and often find myself surprised by the ones that strike an unexpected chord with me. In this case, I'm speaking specifically of Amanda Palmer's talk "The Art of Asking" and Brene Brown's "The Power of Vulnerability." The former I stumbled upon when wandering the internet, and the latter I was introduced to at Think Shift. While these talks are very different in style and content, both string their message together with personal moments and reflections, much like this rambling mess you're wading through.

Palmer, an entertainer, expresses the value of asking for what you need and the satisfaction that both the recipient and the giver receive when the aforementioned transaction takes place. We are imperfect. We do not always have access to everything we need, whether it's tools, instructions, people or directions. It is okay to ask.Likewise, it is kind to offer help, even if it has not been requested. It may be denied but that's okay too. This year, I will be working on this. I will spend less time trying to read minds and more time asking. It will save time, and we all know what they say about time.

Brown, a qualitative researcher, discusses her rally against and inevitable acceptance of vulnerability as the key to connection. We are often struck by feelings of shame, fear and unworthiness rooted in disconnection. These feelings can be overcome with the courage to be your imperfect self, the compassion to treat yourself and others kindly, the connection to your authentic self (not who you think you should be or how others might want you to be) and the embracement of vulnerability. This year, I'll be working on this. I will seek limbs to venture out on, unconcerned of judgement. I will worry less about being right and more about being me. I'll look for new solutions to problems and be willing to risk failure. The need for perfection can leave you a prisoner to a gilded cage, familiar and secure but painfully limited.

So, I will ask for help and put myself out there.

If you're reading this, it's because I was vulnerable enough to hand it in knowing it was far from perfect, perhaps too sincere and bordering on incoherent. It will also mean that I have now stepped on a soapbox and bellowed my intentions to the entirety of the inter webs and a group of people who will hold me to it. If it's any good, it's because I asked for someone to help me polish it into a piece of work worthy enough to find a home on our website.

Welcome to the new year. It's sure to be filled with challenges and adventure, memories and mistakes, rewards and heartache.

A year like none and every other. Be courageous, be compassionate, be connected and never be afraid to ask for help. It's going to be a heck of a year.